The Paintball Solution

Around here driving is becoming more tiresome. As the population expands out from San Antonio along Hwy 281 and up the I-35 corridor, there are more drivers on the roads and in what used to be the small towns of Selma, Schertz, New Braunfels, Bulverde, Spring Branch, and Canyon Lake. Highway 46, linking 281 to I-35, is being widened in slow, traffic clogging spurts. Loop 337 around western New Braunfels has become more crowded, until there are certain times of the day when you should forget it’s even there. FM 306, FM 2722, and FM 3159 going to/from Canyon Lake are constantly busy. Hwy 46 to/from Seguin is also bustling. New traffic lights have been added to every highway and loop in the area over the past twelve months. This is progresss?,-95.677068New+Braunfels,+Texas+78130&ll=29.739042,-98.139153&spn=12&layer=t (sorry,but this satellite image could not be embedded)

As traffic increases so does the number of bad drivers. Being cutoff is more prevalent, as is having someone riding your rear bumper. I find myself becoming more and more ticked off by these inconsiderate turds. Therefore, I am seriously considering having paintball buttons installed into the dashboard of my car, one for the front and one for the rear. When a driver cuts me off, I push the button and a paintball splats on the offending vehicle. Similarly, when a jerk or jerkette is riding my rear, I would splat one on its grill. Such judicious pleasure I would derive from this!!!

It would be washable paint, of course, and, if necessary from the legal standpoint, I could alert the would-be culprits with a bumper sticker reading “BEWARE! DO NOT RIDE THIS BUMPER OR CUT-OFF THIS VEHICLE.” That would be a big sticker, though. Maybe: “BEWARE! DRIVE COURTEOUSLY OR ELSE!” Or maybe: “HEY SMUCK – BACK OFF!” Whatcha think? All in favor, chime in!


About Cyranette

I have been writing since I was 11 and am now a grandmother of 9. Aside from my family, I love writing, reading, movies, gardening, genealogy, and travel. I met my soulmate online and we've been married 19 years. I am a survivor of rape, abuse, and cancer. I believe in love, kindness, and common sense. I was born/raised in Indiana and have lived in Massachusetts, Texas, and California. I have visited: most of the United States, British Columbia, Germany, Austria, and Costa Rica. My husband and I would like to visit England, Europe, and New Zealand and to take a train ride along the Canadian/American border. I have written essays, articles, short stories, a romance novel, a self-help book, and several children's books.
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