Almost everyday I reach for the as-yet-to-be-installed paintball buttons on my dashboard, one for the front bumper and one for the back bumper. I desperately need to splatter offensive vehicles with harmless paint – a totally justifiable punishment for jerk drivers, who ooze disdain and disrespect by their irresponsible actions. Who the hell do they think they are? And why do they think they have the right to abuse the driving privilege? They weave in and out of traffic, drive too fast and too close. They make me grind my teeth.
I wish I could take my hands off the wheel and my eyes off the road long enough to get photos of license plates to report to the DPS. But nooooo, these tush-craniums are speeding recklessly and causing everyone else to use their brakes. They are accidents waiting to happen or, at the very least, have the potential to cause accidents in their wakes. At that time, they will become hit-n-run drivers, who cannot be tracked down. Hence, a good paintball splatter will identify them!
So, in the future, when you see a bumper sticker that says, “Equipped with Paintballs,” you better watch out and drive more carefully and considerately!